Grrrrrr

I never meant for this blog to become a place where I complain about everything annoying in my life but it seems it may go that way. It's no secret (at least to those who care about and know us well) that these last 2 years for us have been extremely stressful and just plain crappy. Kenny getting laid off and only finding temporary work here and there, a (former) best friend viciously turning on us and making INSANE (and completely false) accusations about Kenny, etc, etc, etc. Needless to say the tension in our house is ridiculous. Kenny and I don't really get along that well anymore (he may tell you a different story) and I almost dread when he comes home from work (when he is working). Not because I don't love him because I do love him. It's just that with him coming home comes the tention and stress and I just don't like dealing with it anymore.

Lately I've been feeling very much alone. I'm tired of being last on the list. I'm tired of not being given any consideration. Anyway, today was another one of those days where, well I'll just tell it like it happened....

I went out with a friend and her kids today. While trying to pack the diaper bag my girls took out toys multiple times and I got tired of cleaning up so I just left it. There was a play tunnel, drumsticks, a harmonica and another little toy out. I came home and Kenny was in the garage doing whatever it is he does in there and walk in the house to find the toys STILL on the ground. Thinking I was handling it much nicer than usual I asked him, "Hey, did you go inside at all?" He said yes. I asked, "Did you see the toys on the floor?" He said yes. I said as nicely as I could, "Oh, it might've been nice if you picked them up." He said, (and this pisses me off), "Well I thought you didn't like going out with a messy house because you don't like cleaning up when you come back?" TOTALLY TURNS IT AROUND ON ME. I thought, "Am I really hearing what I think I'm hearing?" Rather than say, "Yeah I saw it but I didn't get a chance to pick it up but I can do it now for you." And then starts throwing the "Brittney's mad again" card into play. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I can't take it anymore. There's always either am excuse as to why he doesn't do something or he turns it around on me. He can be such an a$$hole sometimes.