I seem to be having a lot of them lately. Today was one of the worst. Karis has been whining and throwing tantrums whether life is "going her way" or not and it's REEEEALLY wearing on me. It used to just be when she wasn't getting her way but now it's about everything...good or bad. I dread getting up in the mornings anymore because I know what the day will consist of, no matter how well I keep MYSELF together.
Today I yelled so loud that my throat still hurts. I feel bad for doing it. I know I'm not setting a good example and guaranteed she'll throw a similar fit to mine before day's end. How do I handle that?! I almost feel bad putting her in time-out...why should she be "punished" for bad behavior when Mommy's not punished for bad behavior? After all, she's learning it from me, I know that for a fact. I just can't seem to break this friggin' cycle!
Kenny doesn't help set the tone in the morning either. Today he wanted to go to my brother's house to do some more work on the ceilings. Instead of leaving when he wanted to he starts cleaning the kitchen and doing all this stuff BUT he's doing it with a "huffy puffy" attitude as if it's a bother for him (which makes me feel like he's judging me for not doing it) NOT that he's doing it to help me. If he's gonna do it with that attitude then please don't bother. I don't want you to hold it against me later (which has happened in the past).
On a more positive note, Kenny and I went to our first counseling session yesterday...like to a REAL counselor. Even though it was just an overview session for the counselor to get an idea as to why we were there (etc), it was SOOOOOOOOOOO nice to sit down with someone and stick to the subject at hand. We love our pastors but most of our "counseling sessions" with them have resulted in more bunny trails and talking about other people and their situations than anything else (as if that's supposed to help us). We go home almost as bewildered (if not more) then when we walked in! That didn't happen yesterday. Matt (our counselor) asked a few questions to get us started, let us share, asked a few more questions (based on what we shared) and actually STUCK TO THE SUBJECTS we were discussing. It was quite refreshing. We're going back in 2 weeks.
Well, that's about it. It's rest time right now so I'm hoping the second half of the day will be better.
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