Last week my Mom found a lump in her right breast and immediately went in for a biopsy. Today, around 10am this morning, my Mom called her doctor for the results. It was not good news. It IS cancerous. I feel so disconnected from any feelings about it and I don't know why. What's wrong with me? Maybe it's because it's so surreal? Because you never think it will happen to you? You're just living life, enjoying those around you (family, grandbabies) and then BAM you get hit with this and your life is no longer the same.
Mom went into the doctor's office right away (11:45am) to discuss everything in more detail. A few things the doc mentioned is that her Pap Smear came back good and that the lump itself appeared to be contained but they will have to run an MRI to see if there's any in the Lymph Nodes. I'm not sure at this point when she will be going for that.
As I sit here thinking about it, I have been going back and forth between disbelief (that this is happening), fear (a pastor/acquaintance was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and died about 6 weeks later) and faith that this is not a problem for God. I have witnessed and experienced his miracle healing power (heck, on a mission trip to Venezuela in 1997 the Lord used my sister and I to lay hands on a woman who had a lump in her breast and as we prayed it dissolved on the spot and she couldn't find it anymore). I think of my friend Rachel who has been battling cancer for over a year now and recently found out that she has Stage 4 cancer (when it looked like the tumors were actually dying).
I don't want to sit idly by and just watch this happening. I want to take action but I feel so disconnected. I felt like I was in a daze after finding out. I'm reminded of the series Pastor Kyle is doing right now, "Why?" So many things that happen - unemployment, sickness, death - and we ask "why?" but when things happen we need to ask "Who?" and run to Him. That's what I plan on doing.
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